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The Presentations

In my Game-A-Week class, we are supposed to do presentations halfway through the course and then one at the end. And because I prepared and wrote them down before hand as a speech, I thought it would be nice to have a record of them online.


In-Between Presentation

Good evening,
Like my peers before me, I would like to share my own experience with Game-A-Week. The Beginning was highlighted mainly by a strong feeling of diffidence in myself, which came from a place of ignorance of my capacities.
Making a game is a process, and for me, that process begins with careful consideration of my abilities measured against my ambitions. This is especially true when the process has to befit such a tight schedule.

After we receive our theme for the week and I come up with a concept, I will then immediately break it down to its core gameplay logic. This sheds light on the compatibility of the two elements and the feasibility of the project as a whole.
I invest the first couple of days repeating this process until I find a compatible and feasible pair. I will then immediately start implementing that core logic in unity while simultaneously working on the visual design and style of the game in Affinity Photo or Designer.
I will then spend the “second phase” doing all the additional programming as well as creating and implementing finalised assets which are based on and occasionally taken directly from the initial visual concept. After that, it is a race against the clock to polish the game as much as the time allows for. To get it to a stage where I feel comfortable enough to present it. This is the most intense but also the most exciting phase of development. Because this is where it goes from ‘a game’ to ‘my game’.

– – – Breathe – – –

Sounds intense right? and it is, but also incredibly rewarding. And within the process it never allows you to question yourself. Instead, it takes from you the best that you can give.
After going through this process five times now, the one thing I have consistently aimed for is to have each project be a uniquely individual experience. And for some bizarre reason, they have collectively formed a perfect reflection of my childhood.
For the second half of our course, I have decided to be bolder, not in ambition but in style. Time and time again, I find myself rejecting concepts and ideas that fail to align with my perceived persona which is not an honest representation of who I am.
For the people who are not in Game-A-Week, I recommend you try it, even for just a couple of weeks. It will test your perseverance and possibly improve it. It is one of the fastest ways to gain game dev experience. And if you are in a creative block it could get you out of it.
If nothing else, one thing surely gained from my experience thus far, is that it has helped me convert part of that diffidence into confidence, and for that I am grateful.

I now have a process that enables me to rapidly realise my ideas, not to mention the technical knowledge gained especially in terms of programming and visual scripting. And the fact that it was all achieved in a handful of weeks is incredible to me.

The most crucial thing, not just in matters of game development but life in general, is our willingness to listen. As human beings, we are trapped inside our minds, but our ability to listen is our greatest superpower. It allows us to look at the same things but with a different perspective.
With that said, I have also learned to listen to myself. We no longer live in a world where there’s a roomful of cheerleaders going “you did it, that was awesome”, no. In an ambitious and competitive world, expectations are high. When you do one thing right, it only highlights the ten things you could have done better.

So, you have to be your own cheerleader.

Thank you,
Samartha Ingle


Final Presentation

Now that we have completed the course, I have learned that playing all parts is good for learning. But the problem with that is, I am left with blurred definitions and a weakened conviction. Moving forward, I would like to focus more on working towards a specific skill set.

A few months ago, during the in-between presentations, I proclaimed that the world is a horrible place where no one ever appreciates anything that you do and you have to appreciate yourself. But bear in mind that those words were written by a man in the middle of a very intense course. And now that we have crossed this particular finish line, I would like to reiterate.
Although, I still stand with the second part of that statement, the first part not so much. And here is the reason why I changed my mind.

I believe in positive reinforcement.
When someone tells me that I am good, it only makes me try even harder to be the best. And I thought that I would have to be the one to do it myself, but that is not entirely true.
Between all the criticisms, big and small, beneath all the layers of friendly competition, and at times insecurities; I felt genuine admiration. And I know this for a fact because it is the same admiration I feel for each one of you.
I felt it in every simple nod of the head, in every smile on your face, and every time you told me you liked my game without making eye contact. I felt it in all of those moments.

If you take a look at my list of all the things that inspire me the most, you guys, collectively, are at the top of that list.
I was wrong.
Back then I failed to realise that we were all rooting for each other all along. And I for one will continue to do so for years to come.

The world might still be a horrible place, but at least we are not alone.

Thank you,
Samartha Ingle

Berlin – Week 6 & 7

4, Nov 2018

It’s Sunday
It has only been over a month but I somehow feel like I have known these people for a long time, and this place for a lifetime. I reconnected this week with Parham, one of the first people I talked to in university, and for some reason did not interact with as much again. And it was fun, he is a good man and quite smart, who I feel like has been unfairly ostracised, but he is doing very little to help his case. But I am not really sure if he even wants to correct it, I get the feeling he is fine with it.

But what I am definitely sure about is that I hate being the third wheel, I think everyone does. And I especially do not like it when people blame their shitty relationships on you just because you kind of interact with both of them. People are who they are, they are capable of change but will hardly make an effort to do so because the world already revolves around them.
Chemistry is a powerful thing, you might walk into a bar start talking to someone and then stop only to realise it has been hours or you might get stuck in a forced friendship with someone you have to see everyday but don’t really care for as much. In my experience the latter fizzle out but the former is forever.

I spent the Friday evening with Robyn (a woman, unlike any I have ever met before), Christopher (my partner for game mechanics class), Freddy (the human form of the words “Geek” and “German”) and Justin (he is Californian, but believes he is German). We had dinner together and then spent hours playing Mario Kart and Wii Sports. We chatted about everything and nothing, like you do, and got to know each other a little better. We are in the same class but it was the first time we hung-out outside of university you see. I like them.
And on Saturday, Tung and Hari came for a visit and we stumbled around the pool table and just ended up hanging out for a bit. I was kinda feeling gloomy so it’s good that they came, it’s always fun when we get together.

For the first week here each day was an adventure but just in a few weeks now, days have started merging into one and I can’t really tell one week from another. In one of my earlier blogs I complained about how monotonous life had become in India for the last year I was there. I fear if I don’t shake things up every so often I might end up in the same place again. But even if I do at least this time it’s a choice, my choice.

These past two weeks have drained me, not physically but emotionally.
I cried, for the first time since I moved here, and the weird part is that there was absolutely no reason, sometimes you just need to cry. No one hurt me, I am obviously not sad or depressed or homesick, I am having the time of my life. But still for some reason, last night, I just burst into tears and cried myself to sleep.

Why?
Samartha Ingle

Berlin – Week 5

21, Oct 2018

It’s Sunday
Unlike the week before, a lot happened this week. Interesting dynamics among friends were observed and shocking new information was revealed. For the sake of their privacy I will not write about this in this blog as it would then be public information and as such not be fair to them.
Lets just say their is a lot of DRAMA !!!!! both in and outside the university and I am trying my very best to not get sucked into any of it.

The goal is simple and it is clear and I cannot afford unnecessary engagements and distractions lead me astray. Thankfully, my blog, my reading, my shows, my games and my work all keep me extremely busy throughout the week.
Me and a couple of my new friends, Hari and Tung have made a pact (sort of) to do something together every weekend. I enjoy their company, they are honest, fun and hardworking guys with whom I am getting along very well.

I know I didn’t have a lot of friends back home but right now I find myself really missing the ones I had. I often find myself making comparisons between these new and old friends as if in a way I am trying to replace them.

How stupid is that ?
Samartha Ingle

Memory

The sweet taste of summer, that certain sweet tang,
that holy smell starts rolling down the mountain
hand in hand with the timely morning mist.
Teach me a way to resist this memory.

Her sorrowed eyes, those soft teeth,
the way her heart sings every time the bell rings
and then the scramble to appease.
Teach me a way to cease her memory.

His steady hand that mighty grip, his thumb print
on my lip, his devil sounds, the way he found
his way around my trembling state.
Teach me a way to forget his memory.

Old Friends

The final picture dissipates, then I walk away.
Birds and bees no notice take, bats and fireflies lament.
They know me by my candid craving and
understand my flagellating function.

The bright brute only ever
did see me smile.
With gritted teeth he borrows my
plain countenance.
My eyes widen, my mouth gapes to
understand why;
he burns himself, my body sweats
in parallel?
Just when choked and forced to detest
his mockery,
then selflessly she slips away
and reaches down.
To caress me, to soothe me and
to salve apply.
And to nurse my lacerated
body, wit, heart.

When the final thought designed is when I walk away.
Then the Sun wouldn’t mind but the Moon would rivers cry.
She knows me by my sincerest shadow,
my soberest sorrow she empathise.